Monday, September 28, 2009

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

In the below blog, you will read a common phrase, spoken by both men and women, and you will then see the translation of the phrase, from a man's and a woman's point of view. Enjoy!

"I need time to think"

Guys mean: I'm gonna go jack off.
Girls mean: I'm gonna go tell all my friends what an idiot you are and how much I love you.



"I'm busy"

Guy: I'm having too much fun having farting contests with my friends to want to see you.
Girl: I need to shower, shave, wax, pluck, and otherwise work on my hair and face for hours. I can't possibly see you in this condition.



"Why did you cheat?" (to another man)

Guy: Why did you get caught?
Girl: Why would you wrong the person who means the most to you in this entire world??? *cries*



"What did you do today?"

Guy: Can you make some noises with your mouth while I watch tv and pretend to care? K thanks.
Girl: Who did you do today?



"I hate you"

Guy: I hate you.
Girl: I will now proceed to act bitchy for a week, at the end of which I won't even remember why I'm doing it anymore.



"So how about we go get some coffee?"

Guy: Hopefully I can lay you later.
Girl: Hopefully we can get married, I already have children's names picked out.



"I thought last night was fun"

Guy: You have bigger boobs than the last girl I slept with. And hopefully you will sleep with me soon.
Girl: I wish I'd gone to my waxing appointment instead.. it would have been less painful.



"It was so nice to meet your friends!"

Guy: Wow, those people were annoying.
Girl: Wow, those people were annoying.





"So how have things been since the last time I saw you?"

Guy: Damn, your jugs got bigger.
Girl: I hope you have a girlfriend, so you won't ask me out like you did last time. It's still a no.



"I'm not looking for anything too serious"

Guy: You're not hot enough for me to get caught cheating with.
Girl: You're too whiny and needy and honestly, I feel like I'm dating a girl.



"One day I hope to settle down"

Guy: But not with you.
Girl: I already know what our great-grandchildren are gonna be named.



"I love you"

Guy: I love your boobs.
Girl: So when are we gonna get married?



"It's not you it's me"

Guy: It's you.
Girl: It's you.



"Im in a rough time of my life right now"

Guy: I'm not interested, get lost.
...Lets face it, girls don't say this... we actually have the balls to tell the truth =]



"Babe, I might be a little late"

Guy: She's unzipping my pants with her teeth as we speak.
Girl: I can't figure out what to wear, see you in 5 hours.



"I think we should see other people"

Guy: I'm already seeing other people.
Girl: I don't wanna see other people, I just don't wanna see you.



"You look nice"

Guy: I can almost see your nipples through that shirt.
Girl: You finally put on a clean shirt.



"What do you want for your birthday"

Guy: Damn I can't believe I have to buy you shit again.
Girl: I just wanna know if you can guess what I already bought you. If you're wrong I will be upset and you won't know why.

1 comment: